


Just a Conversation

by HostileMilk



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bad attempt at humor, Gets pretty awkward and weird for a little bit, Nice Conversation, References to other Undertale AUs, goofing off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 16:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13321647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HostileMilk/pseuds/HostileMilk
Summary: Sans is having a conversation with his alternate self.





	Just a Conversation

A normal day for Sans and his hot dog stands, a grand total of two of them, would be for him to laze, relax, and sell a few of the hotdogs to a few of his regulars. Though, his 'incredibly tough job', as he likes to tell Papyrus often, mostly has him snoozing for the duration of his job. And it wasn't like the sleeping part was a problem. He was his own boss, after all.

Today was no different from a normal day. Other than the fact that he sold a hot dog to his flawless clone wearing nerdy attire that looked like it had been fashioned together from the items from a garage, it was a day like any other. Nothing to be really shocked about, anyways. Just a Sans he had never seen before becoming a first-time customer at his hot dog stand in Snowdin.

"Man, I forgot how great a hot dog can be!"

With that exclamation, the Sans ripped out of a science-fiction novel gave his skeleton-equivalent of a stomach a pat. He watched as his doppelganger then fetch a couple of gold coins out his pocket and flipped all of them at once towards him. After catching the coins in his palm, he gave his clone a quizzical stare from behind the counter.

"buddy, what's this for?"

Other Sans just gave him a shrug for a response.

"Because those hotdogs are the best thing I had for sustenance for awhile and I felt that you deserved an extra payment."

If he had a brow, he would have risen it. He turned his gaze towards the coins that felt off in his palm. Taking one of the coins in between his fingers, he started inspecting it as the other Sans pocketed his hands and smiled at him.

After an astounding one and a half seconds, he had already found the discrepancy with the supposed coins. A laugh that escaped from his customer from the other side confirmed his suspicion.

Opening the wrapper of the coin revealed its chocolate interior.

With a slow blink, he dumped the coins onto the counter. Ignoring his counterpart's laughter, he unwrapped the total of the 5 coins into its true, chocolate forms. Still looking at the pieces of chocolate laid before him, he started to wonder if the other Sans actually paid for his hot dog with chocolate. The fake coins looked exactly like the actual gold currency that everyone uses.

He looked at the giggling Sans with a questioning look.

"look, pal, chocolate is fine and all, but one of our policies here at Sans Hot Dog Empire Corporation™ states that chocolate isn't a currency that you can buy our products with." He leaned a little forward and narrowed his eye sockets. "you didn't just buy a hot dog from me with candy, did you?"

The other Sans stopped his giggling and waved his hands in a dismissive manner.

"Those coins I just gave you were the only shams, I swear."

He tried to look through his goofy knockoff for any taint or lie in his soul, but when finding none, he loosened up and his smile widened.

"a very  _sham_ ful act. and here  i thought i was getting donated real money."

Laughter erupted immediately from the both of them. More so coming from the other Sans then he, as his counterpart looked like he was about to fall over from laughing. It was actually endearing how funny his other-self found his little joke. But he was another Sans, after all.

After the laughter had died out, a comfortable silence had descended over them.

A moment later, he found himself looking back at the ridiculous clothes his customer was wearing. It was too strange not to bring up.

"now, i am no fashion expert or anything, but what are you supposed to be wearing?"

The other Sans paused and looked down at himself. Then, after looking back up, a proud expression crossed his face, which honestly looked strange on a face of a Sans.

"You are looking at one of the best armor in the entire multiverse!"

"multiverse?"

"Yup!"

He looked at the other Sans's horribly stitched lab coat and black shorts and looked back up at the proud smile the skeleton behind it was wearing. A combination of a confused sound and a laugh of disbelief came out of his mouth. But before he could even question what the other Sans was talking about, his counterpart gave him a question instead.

"I can tell that you are confused about the multiverse, huh?"

Again, before he was allowed to respond, the other Sans slammed his hands on the counter.

"Well, I know that you are familiar with the multiverse theory but let me start off by giving you a few examples of some of the universes that I have been to!"

"wait a sec-"

"Did you know that there is a universe where you are a hooker and everyone else that you know is one as well?"

He raised his palm to the other's face to get him to stop talking. He had no clue what his expression looked like at the moment of being told that an alternate self of him was probably making a living off of giving people sexual favors in return for money, but it probably didn't look so great. It took a few seconds debating with himself on whether or not this person standing before him was an insane shapeshifter or that he actually was some sort of universe explorer.

It took a few seconds, but he managed to talk again.

"you wouldn't have any proof on about what you just said, do you?"

He didn't know why he would want proof that might include seeing visuals of him dressed up as a concubine, but that was what came out of his mouth. But he hoped against all hopes and dreams that the other Sans would just laugh out loud and told him that all of this was a joke. Of course, that wouldn't be the case though.

"Yup! Let me show you some pictures I took."

He buried his skull in his hands as the other Sans dug through a backpack that was never there before and pulled out a stack of pictured wrapped with a rubber band. A tap on his shoulder pulled him away from his hands and he immediately saw that his entire countertop was covered with photos that stared back at him.

Dozens of Sans of different looks all greeted him with either forced smiles, annoyed expressions, or emotionless faces. Some of the pictures even looked to be taken from a hiding spot.

Once after giving each picture a short glance, he closed his eye sockets and sighed.

"look. i can accept the fact that you are another me from another universe. but what i cannot accept is the fact that there is another me out there that looks like what i looked like when i was going through my rebellious phase."

For emphasis, he tapped the picture that held the Sans that wore a black and red hoodie. Not only that, but he even had fangs that looked as if he sharpened them with a dull sharpener. He didn't want to acknowledge that red glow in his right eye socket nor his golden tooth either.

The other Sans peered over the picture he was referring to and gave an amused sound.

"Yeah, that particular Sans was a troublemaker. He also has been involved with things with his brother that I am honestly not comfortable enough to share nor was ready to witness. But hey!" Other Sans tapped the picture on the upper left corner on the counter. "There is the Sans that happened to be a hooker!"

"i don't want to see it."

"Awww. Come on!"

"no."

"Can I at least tell the st-"

" **n o**."

The other Sans huffed and crossed his arms. He glared back with empty eye sockets in response.

"Jeez. You are totally fine with the fact that your alternate-self has just bought something from you, yet you are too freaked out to see yourself wearing a smutty outfit?"

He gave a sigh and closed his eye sockets, wondering why this weirdo somehow turned the lighthearted conversation into something like this.

"can't we just make knock-knock jokes with each other like all newly made friends do?"

The other Sans uncrossed his arms and actually seemed to contemplate the request. And he was hoping that he would. He would even be willing to listen to the backstory about the edgy Sans.

"I would go for a couple rounds of goofing off, but I actually have something that has been bugging me ever since I came here and I wanted to bring it up with you."

"shoot it." He immediately added, "nothing sexual though, got it?"

The other Sans wore a grin and nodded his head. Satisfied, he leaned back a little on the chair that he was sitting in, ready to hear whatever he is going to say.

"Well, the thing is, you haven't looked shocked or even mildly surprised that I exist and visited you face to face. What's up with that?"

He took a second to let the question sink in, and then he let out a chuckle. Folding his arms on the counter and leaning forward, he could clearly see the look of confusion. But he could see the interest on the other Sans's face, no doubt wanting to know the answer that had been bugging him. 

"it's simple, really. i already know that there are a bunch of Sanses out there. i sorta knew too that it would be a matter of time before one of them decided to pay me a visit. though, i could've never predicted so many... interesting versions of myself out there. but it would be definitely stupid of me to assume that every Sans would be the same."

All this time the other Sans had been listening with interest. After absorbing his answer in, he seemed satisfied and nodded. 

"That makes sense."

They stood in silence for a moment, turned away from each other, and let their entire conversation sink in them both. Then, the other Sans straightened himself and started dusting off his horrible white lab coat and turned to face him. 

"Well, it has been a pleasure, but I got to head off now. Universe traveling machine is waiting for me."

Sci-Fi Sans stuck out his left hand and beamed a wide smile at him. 

Behind the counter, he returned the smile and shook. And then proceeded to get shocked with a zap. Recoiling back, he ripped his hand away from the offending zapper that was concealed behind the other skeleton's hand. Hearing the hearty laugh that boomed over him, his shock faded away and he let loose a laugh of his own. 

"quite _shocking_ that i fell for such a rookie trick."

Barking out another laugh, the other Sans started to walk off into the distance. 

"Till we meet again!"

The shout came from the shrinking figure in the distance. 

Minutes passed as he looked out from his stand and down into the trail that the other Sans walked on. He watched with an actual, genuine smile. Even if the dude was a weirdo, he supposed he was a pretty cool dude. 

With that pleasant thought, he waved his hand and the monsters that were previously frozen in time had reanimated. Adults starting walking from place to place, while the children laughed and built disfigured snowmen. 

Flinging his feet up on the counter, he laid back in his seat and crossed his arms behind his back. In no time, little z's started floating above his head. 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
